The 'Are You A Good Latte Lefty' Quiz!
Your friendship group contains (give yourself a point for each) -
a) Someone queer!
b) Someone aboriginal!
c) An asylum seeker!
d) Bob Brown!
Bonus five points if your group contains someone with all of the above characteristics
a) Huh, good lord! What are they good for? Absolutely nothing! (0 points)
b) Rip rip, woodchip! Turn it into paper! Then write some Liberal propaganda on it! (0 points)
c) Their branches can be used to beat queue jumpers around the head when they land on shore! (0 points)
d) Should be preserved, man. For real. (1 point)
e) Are people too, man. For real. (5 points)
Fast forward to the 2007 Federal election. Head to head in the polls are Liberal candidate Andrew Bolt and ALP candidate Eddie McGuire. Who do you vote for?
a) Andrew Bolt (0 points)
b) Eddie McGuire, and it kills you to say that (1 point)
c) Bob Brown. And you scribble his name in with a green, recycled pencil. (5 points)
The environment -
a) Tricky to spell - I always forget that 'n'. Because I am quite drug-fucked right now. Mummy? (0 points)
b) Marijuana grows there (1 point)
c) Bob Brown grows there (2 points)
d) is something I am quite the expert on, thanks to the folk-rock stylings of Mr John Butler (10 points)
You're in a cafe - what do you order?
a) A carafe filled with the blood of a small child, as is the Liberal way (0 points)
b) A cappuccino (0 points)
c) A mocha (0 points)
d) Some herbal tea (5 points)
e) A latte (15 points)
f) A soy latte (20 points)
g) A soy chai latte (30 points)
Who or what is THE MAN?
a) Anthony Mundine (0 points)
b) What my conservative boyfriend insists I call him as he has unprotected sex with my bottom (0 points)
c) Dude, in this day and age, who isn't the man? Big business, government, my bus driver... (1 point)
How often do you care about politics?
a) Poli-what? I just enjoy frothy coffee and joss sticks! (0 points)
b) All the time, man! (1 point)
c) Once every three years, or whenever Michael Moore releases a film (5 points)
40+ Points - YOU ARE AN EXCELLENT LEFTY, BUT REMEMBER - ONE CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY FRIENDS FROM A MINORITY GROUP, OR TOO MANY PROTEST BADGES ON YOUR KNAPSACK!
Less than 40 Points - DISMAL! WHY DON'T YOU JUST BEND OVER AND ASK THE MAN TO JAM A CACTUS INTO YOUR TIGHT LITTLE CONSERVATIVE RACIST RECTUM?