The Fucking Latte Left Pty Ltd

The 'Are You A Good Latte Lefty' Quiz!

2005-05-24T17:05:00.000+10:00

Question One
Your friendship group contains (give yourself a point for each) -

a) Someone queer!
b) Someone aboriginal!
c) An asylum seeker!
d) Bob Brown!

Bonus five points if your group contains someone with all of the above characteristics

Question Two
Trees -

a) Huh, good lord! What are they good for? Absolutely nothing! (0 points)
b) Rip rip, woodchip! Turn it into paper! Then write some Liberal propaganda on it! (0 points)
c) Their branches can be used to beat queue jumpers around the head when they land on shore! (0 points)
d) Should be preserved, man. For real. (1 point)
e) Are people too, man. For real. (5 points)

Question Three
Fast forward to the 2007 Federal election. Head to head in the polls are Liberal candidate Andrew Bolt and ALP candidate Eddie McGuire. Who do you vote for?

a) Andrew Bolt (0 points)
b) Eddie McGuire, and it kills you to say that (1 point)
c) Bob Brown. And you scribble his name in with a green, recycled pencil. (5 points)

Question Four
The environment -

a) Tricky to spell - I always forget that 'n'. Because I am quite drug-fucked right now. Mummy? (0 points)
b) Marijuana grows there (1 point)
c) Bob Brown grows there (2 points)
d) is something I am quite the expert on, thanks to the folk-rock stylings of Mr John Butler (10 points)

Question Five
You're in a cafe - what do you order?

a) A carafe filled with the blood of a small child, as is the Liberal way (0 points)
b) A cappuccino (0 points)
c) A mocha (0 points)
d) Some herbal tea (5 points)
e) A latte (15 points)
f) A soy latte (20 points)
g) A soy chai latte (30 points)

Question Six
Who or what is THE MAN?

a) Anthony Mundine (0 points)
b) What my conservative boyfriend insists I call him as he has unprotected sex with my bottom (0 points)
c) Dude, in this day and age, who isn't the man? Big business, government, my bus driver... (1 point)

Question Seven
How often do you care about politics?

a) Poli-what? I just enjoy frothy coffee and joss sticks! (0 points)
b) All the time, man! (1 point)
c) Once every three years, or whenever Michael Moore releases a film (5 points)

RESULTS

40+ Points - YOU ARE AN EXCELLENT LEFTY, BUT REMEMBER - ONE CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY FRIENDS FROM A MINORITY GROUP, OR TOO MANY PROTEST BADGES ON YOUR KNAPSACK!

Less than 40 Points - DISMAL! WHY DON'T YOU JUST BEND OVER AND ASK THE MAN TO JAM A CACTUS INTO YOUR TIGHT LITTLE CONSERVATIVE RACIST RECTUM?

Sister Awake...

2005-05-24T15:31:00.000+10:00

How foolish of me.

Sewing is something THE MAN would WANT me to do, and I hate THE MAN!

Therefore, I will find some sort of alternative method to collect my womb's liquid motherly love. Leave it with me.

Off-hippy topic, did you hear Cosima Devito is a Liberal as well?

I'd ask for my vote back, but I NEVER VOTED FOR THE SILLY WENCH!

HAHAHA IN YOUR FACE, HOWARD!

This latte-quaffing free lover ain't stupid enough to fall for your OBVIOUS reality show stooges!

Listen, Sisters!

2005-05-24T15:07:00.000+10:00

Not shaving our underarms is a brave, intense step in our hardcore battle against The Man. For each hair that grows long enough to develop a gentle curl, The Man's war against womyn's rights is defeated a little more.

BUT IS IT ENOUGH?

I stopped menstruating three years ago - and then I began femstruating.

Then I stopped using these...

... and began sewing these...

... into my underwear.

I refuse to be penetrated by anything created by "THE MAN" or anything made of non-natural fibres.

FIGHT THE POWER!! FIGHT IT WITH YOUR VADGE!!

(When did this become a filthy hippy cliche blog rather than a latte lefty blog? Oh, nevermind. FUCK THE CONSERVATIVES RIGHT UP THE CLACKER!)

Recognise This?

2005-05-24T12:51:00.000+10:00

IT'S A RAINBOW FLAG!

And if I had my way, it'd be the new Australian flag. Much better than the tattered useless relic we currently have to deal with - Union Jack? C'MON!

Although I'm quite partial to this flag too...

Hmmm. Which one do I prefer? I KNOW!

Me and my latte-supping peeps are gonna ensure this becomes our new national flag. And those gun-toting fascist warmongerers will just have to deal with it.

WAKE UP, AUSTRALIA!

IT'S TIME TO TURN THE MINORITY GROUPS INTO PRIORITY GROUPS!

An Open Letter

2005-05-24T11:20:00.000+10:00

Dear Mr Beaze,

Dude, you best be working to get this shizzle legalised!

Not for me, mind you. I only occasionally toke the sweet Mary Jane, mostly when I'm listening to beat poetry or perhaps Jefferson Airplane. My preferred indulgence is this -

Mmmm....

Nonetheless, I can't STAND the fact that The Man (that's YOU, Howard, you right wing ball-bag!) is trying to stop my brothers and sisters from like, totally indulging in something safe and natural. If Gaia (mother earth, yo) has blessed us with a plant like marijuana, it's our DUTY as CITIZENS OF THE WORLD to smoke it!

BEST BE BLUNTIN', NOT FRONTIN'!

HAHA This Is SO True!

2005-05-24T11:16:00.000+10:00

Man, there are some seriously clever lefties with Microsoft Paint skills and keen eyes.

For those of you who don't get the joke, THE CATHOLIC CHURCH SUCKS HARD! ORGANISED RELIGION IS A SCAM FOR FUCKING MORONS.

The Dalai Lama is cool though. Does he smoke pot? Pot's cool.

This Man Should Fucking DIE!

2005-05-24T10:47:00.000+10:00

He should die... a natural death at a ripe old age!

PITY FOR THE KIDDIES KILLED IN IRAQ - THEY WEREN'T GIVEN THAT OPTION!

Also, I am beginning to suspect Pete Murray is a Liberal.

BOYCOTT THE FUCKER'S RECORDS!

Let's Talk Politics!

2005-05-24T10:28:00.000+10:00

Lattes at the ready!

So like, you know who is totally evil?

Liberal cunts.

And guess who I love? Anyone like, totally left! Like the Greens! And Labor, when they're not acting all right wing! Make trade fair, mmmkay?

Oh, and can someone please lend me a copy of the John Butler Trio cd? I lost my copy at a protest march about, ummmm, I forget what. I think it was something to do with trees or abortion or something. I was too busy adjusting my beret to notice properly.